“You could take anti-depressants. Or, you could just be with your sadness.”
These wise words were offered by a therapist. A friend had been feeling really low and wanted perspective.
“Oh, yeah,” she then thought.
What struck me about this was that the therapist didn’t jump to medicating her feelings.
My friend was reminded to see and feel sadness as good information. Flip the script on the story of your sadness, and I’m confident that this original sad tale will reveal your immense capacity to love—you’re just pinching yourself off from receiving (or giving it).
We need these emotions to remind ourselves of what we do want.
What better way to find out what we want than to not feel good?
It’s good information that can help get you back on track.
But don’t resist the (bitter) sweetness of sadness or the story of it. I often feel sad after talking on the phone to my Mom or Dad. I live far away and feel helpless in my desire to assist them as they age (note it’s MY desire, as they have never asked for assistance). The other day, I observed a moment of “feeling bad” after a conversation with my Father. There was nothing in the conversation to direct me to this feeling, a palpable sinking in my chest. After the call ended, I observed myself reaching for the car radio knob. I was looking to perk myself up—to distract myself out of this burgeoning low feeling. Having the wherewithal, I withdrew my hand. I sat in silence, observing my thoughts and simultaneous physical discomfort. I’m very familiar with the saying “this too shall pass” and, indeed, being with the thoughts and sensations helped me to let go.
It’s quite a paradox.
The healing for sadness is experiencing it.
Sadness isn’t bad. It’s human.
Sadness is a call to create a bigger story. And, a reminder to be peaceful through the tears.
A reminder to feel and let go.